I (Am)sterdam

Above is a picture of myself praying for serenity at The Church of Our Lady in Bruges, Belgium.



I returned today from my journey to europa. The trip included a stop in the Netherlands to visit Amsterdam, then on to Belgium to visit Brussels and Bruges. life changing. i (Am)sterdam.

I (Am):

frites

teruvian

"the funny thing about you is...you always come back for more."

Bjorn Bjornson & his Black Diamond

Absynthe Raven~*

pannekoeken

stroop

White Widow

one headlight

Vondel Park

The Bell Tower

Sang Real... the blood of Christ

Nico - defending America

Leslie in the square

Sebastian in the rain

bicycles

"Free refills? Free refills? Free refills? ok. free refills." - in Brussels

"leave...just leave!"

Turbo toke

Supernova toke

the Rijks

Ride the Snake

A trip to Valhalla

Ride the Tiger

baked.

Delirium Christmas/Nocturnum/Tremens

Red Absinthe

waffles

the River Eel - "i am eeling much better."

an afternoon with Van Gogh

Anne Frank Huis

"holland was the most power country in the world...during the Golden Century."

I (Am)sterdam

Canals

Sharoma

windmills

wooden shoes

Our Waitress in Brussels

Eternal Moon over Antwerpen

"Was I a vampyre last night?"

XXX museum

Rembrandt

Ham and Cheese baguette

"Return that one."

"Shut your N face"

the professor

the lost dreadlocked moped rockers

Schipol

Nouckkkkkkkkkkaaa!

Sploofs?

the Game internationale

slagroom

"the meat? Well, we do not have an English word for it."/ "Good, I will take that." - Derrick

Free Hugs, - "I'll take some free hugs."

Ride the Dragon

Icy Winter (in the incarnation of that white-bearded, blue-eyed old man)

La Chouffe bar

arguing british mother and son; while father silently participated.

Wok to Walk

"What are you guys doing tonight, would you like a pamphlet?" -guy/ "go home." - Joe/ "ok." -guy.

"How's it going?" (to some scraggly homeless guy)/ "UHAhaUauahah" - scraggly homeless guy.

'its a blonde, is that ok?' -hot blonde waitress referring to the beer/ "I love blondes" - John (smirking violently).

rocking on guitars in music shop in Brussels

European, french-speaking father playing lovingly with son on the train.

Waiter kicking us out because it was a "restaurant" and we needed to order more food. We won though because the waitress across the street was super hotand we ordered tons of food including onion soup and Real hot chocolate.

The game: hugh laurie

First interaction with european in Amsterdam. "What is there to do?" -tonz./ "do shrooms and go to vondel park." "Do shrooms and go to van gogh." - guy at the desk in the hostel.

space cake.

If you are the queen of california, i am the king of the rain...

"she said, 'DID YOU THINK that you were dreaming?'

I said, 'no.'

she said, 'DID YOU THINK THAT YOU WERE DREAMING???'

I said, 'NO!!!!'

she said, 'did you think that you were dreaming?'

I said, "sometimes I don't know.'"

_____

"could you tell me just one thing that you will remember about me?

just one, thing....

...could you tell me just one thing that you will remember about me?"

*~tempests and charms~*

“pour more wine, it's only dusk."

The grass was so soft. I could hear them in the distance. Panoramic sky.

“Is this how it is supposed to be?”

Clothes were loose. Wrists were weak. Her scent diffusing/confusing/infusing. She smelled like a girl. a real girl. a petite girl. a young girl. a little girl. younger than her age admits. like cherries and cream. a dream. it seems.

“I tell you what, we never imagined we would be here now, did we?”

“no. i guess life is funny sometimes.”

Even the rain wants to be the snow sometimes. Even the young want to grow sometimes. Even the ignorant want to know sometimes. Even lakes want to flow sometimes. Even blackholes want to glow sometimes.

“sorrow has never benefited anyone before.”

“I disagree, there is beauty even in tragedy.”

“how so? I mean, c’mon? We have both been through so much, you know as well as I do, that no one likes to go through pain and sorrow, and the wishing for a better tomorrow.”

“You are right, we might not see it at the time, but there is beauty everywhere. Nothing is trivial. Everything means something. Every moment defines [defies] us. We are shaped by the experiences that life impresses upon us.”

The thorax. each impossibly thin wing. the orchestra of sound - a crescendo of hum and static. things automatic. things aromatic.

“things are changing. I always hated change, but change transforms.”

/conforms/a life reborn/a new moon/ a first kiss…again/

“can you have a first kiss, a second time?”

“anything is possible, life is all about perspective.”

Subjectivity/the light cast through a prism/ it bends/tends/lends/bends itself/a new perspective/the last/first kiss. a kiss. i miss/kiss/miss…listless.

“Max Ehrmann wrote in the Desiderata of Happiness that ‘despite its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, the world is STILL a beautiful place…so strive to be happy’ or something like that.”

Countenance and sentiments. Cigarettes and coffee cups. We can be young forever. Love will keep us young. Love will keep us safe. Love is the silence between the sighs.

"'i wish to infuse myself among you, till you see it common for us to walk hand in hand'."

“happiness is a first kiss, a second time.”

To have and to hold….when the fire dies down.
To have and to hold….when the queen breaks her crown
To have and to hold….in the blink of an eye
To have and to hold….when the summer moon cries
To have and to hold….under the covers in winter
To have and to hold….as the sea tries to take her
To have and to hold….when all hope seems lost
To have and to hold….through snowflakes and frost
To have and to hold….when the couplets are missing
To have and to hold….during nights spent just kissing
To have and to hold….when the music is silenced

To have and to hold....through the dust and the violence
To have and to hold….when the brides are not blushing
To have and to hold….when the blood is not rushing
To have and to hold….in that old picture in the frame
To have and to hold….when the wax drowns the flame
To have and to hold….as the tincture begins to fade
To have and to hold….when the black flowers are laid
To have and to hold…..through the tempests and charms
To have and to hold…..on the swings, interlocking arms
To have and to hold…..blessed by Fall and the Her breeze
To have and to hold…..watching our little girl sneeze
To have and to hold…..in orange mornings at dawn
To have and to hold…..at twilight stretched across the lawn
To have and to hold…..as the sun/moon flashes by
To have and to hold…..when the creek will run dry
To have and to hold…..laughing within piles of fallen leaves
To have and to hold…..with initials carved on November trees
To have and to hold…..when things are no longer the same
To have and to hold…..when cold, tired, and tame
To have and to hold…..when our hearts do grow old
To have and to hold…..wrapped in blankets, in the folds
To have and to hold…..through the 'sound and the fury'
To have and to hold…..till the end of the story
To have and to hold…..when the birds come back home
To have and to hold…..late at night, when alone
To have and to hold…..when crestfallen and sad
To have and to hold…..in all those dreams that we’ve had
To have and to hold…..chasing July and lightening bugs
To have and to hold…..in those old clothes getting hugs
To have and to hold…..in the waves out at sea
To have and to hold…..you and I, you and me

happiness is a first kiss, for a second time~*

[fade out 2:15 pm]